...but deliver anything but. You know who I mean. They usually plaster adverts all over buses, bragging about how they have "more music variety" than anyone else, when their entire playlist seems to consist of a few CD's they picked up at the local petrol station. You'll probably find "more music variety" on half a dozen K-Tel LP's.
In the world of these "more music variety" radio stations, The Police only made two records: "Every Breath You Take" or, if they're feeling daring with the playlist that day, "Message In A Bottle". Never mind their other dozen or so hits, they might as well have never existed.
In this universe, playing anything by The Corrs before 8 a.m. is considered cutting edge, the morning phone-in deals with such earth shattering issues as your local council's plans to change the colour of your wheelie bins, and they always seem to be playing the same Robbie Williams record for someone called Jan from Havant/Christchurch/Bridport/(insert your own town here).
Rather than spread any advertising sensibly throughout the schedule, they bung all the ads together in big clumps which leave you with no option but to hit the scan button and search for the next station which, to your utter horror, is playing a record by The Corrs for Bob in Havant/Christchurch/Bridport/(insert your own town here). It was requested by Jan, who is also alarmed by her local council's plans to change the colour of her wheelie bins.
You press the scan button again, to be greeted by an advert for wheelie bins at a local garden centre, followed by a Robbie Williams record.
In case you hadn't guessed, I forgot to recharge my I-Pod last night. I'll not make that mistake again...